Guilt
by ElaineSohma
Summary: Himiko feels a bit guilty about her newfound relationship with Ban. Besides, he did kill her brother. What would Yamato say? Ban/Himiko romance. T for minor content and language. review!


disclaimer: i don't own GetBackers!3 I know I just uploaded one today, but I'm excited!^_^

summary: Himiko feels a bit guilty about her newfound relationship with Ban. Besides, he did kill her brother. What would Yamato say?

Sorry its so short XP

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She shouldn't feel guilty. There wasn't anything to feel guilty about. 17 year old Himiko kudo loved Ban Mido so much. And now, she actually got to be with him. And when they were together, Himiko felt as happy as she did when her brother was still alive, and Ban was with them. She loved laughing with him and talking all night and argueing over absolutely pointless things.

But it was the physically intimate part that made her feel guilty. Not because she regretted giving it up to him two and a half months ago. But after they had had sex, she always remembered, "This man killed my brother."

She knew why. Yamato _told _Ban to kill him-begged him even. Ban simply obeyed his wishes. It wasn't Ban's fault. Yamato made Ban promise to take care of her, and he was- kind of. She doubted Yamato would've wanted Ban to "take care of her" by sleeping with her.

All these thoughts clouded her mind, laying in her bedroom, next to her boyfriend. Their clothes were strewn around the room, and a used condom sat in the trash by her bed. Ban was already asleep, but HImiko was having trouble dealing with her thoughts.

And by the time she drifted into a sleep, it was restless. She tossed and turned until Ban woke up her up, worried.

"Something on your mind?" he asked. She sheok her head.

"No, I'm fine." she lied.

She knew he could tell, but he didn't push it. Instead, he kissed gently kissed her mouth and told her to get some sleep. The next time she slept, she dreamed.

She was back in the house she lived in with Ban and Yamato. Everything was exactly how it was that day, when she came home with Yamato's birthday cake. Only the thirteen year old her was gone, and her brother's lifeless corpse was gone. Yamato was sitting on the window sill- his usual spot- smoking Malboro cigarettes, his and Ban's favorite.

"Oh." he saw her, and smiled warmly. "Hey, Himiko-chan."

"Y-Yamato?"

He shut his brown eyes, smiling. "Who but?"

She burst into tears as she ran at him. She threw her arms around her dead brother's neck, hugging him tight. He pat her back, laughing.

"I miss you, too, Himiko-chan." his voice wavered, like he would cry, too. But she knew he wouldn't, because he needed to be strong for her. He was always strong enough to give Himiko a sense of security even when they were on the run, and Ban was running along side them.

"Yamato-kun, I feel so bad."

"Because you laid with Ban?"

His choice of words were odd, but this was a dream, wasn't it? He went on as Himiko put her head on his blazer, "While I'm not completely thrilled you're sleeping with him, don't be upset." she looked up. He was still smiling. He wiped her tears out from under her violet eyes. "I'm not angry. I know you've been in love with Ban since you were a kid."

"I have not!"

"No, just ever since he kissed you in the kitchen when I wasn't home."

Himiko cringed, blushing. "You know about that?"

"It was kind of obvious." he chuckled. "You used to touch your mouth around him." Yamato rolled his eyes. "I saw you one time- when he kissed you int he car when you guys were weaiting fo rme to buy my cigarettes.

Himiko couldn't believe she had forgotten that. She paused, thinking a bit before saying, "Why do I feel guilty, Yamato-kun?"

"Because you think I'm angry. I'm really not." she closed her eyes and felt him kiss the top of her head. He muttered, "I love you and Ban apart, and I love you and Ban together." she opened her eyes. "I want you to be hapy. Ban makes you happy. So be happy, Himiko-chan." he laughed. "Now, its time for you to wake up." he pointed behind her. "Ban's waiting."

When she looked, she saw Ban standing in the doorway, wearing just his pair of jeans. He had a concerned look on his handsome face. He opened his mouth and said, "Come on, Himiko-chan, wake up."

Himiko opened her eyes, but her vision was blurry. She touched her face. Her cheeks were wet. Light streamed in through her window, and Ban was leaning over her, his face contorted in worry. He said, "Himiko-chan, you're crying."

"I am?" she sat up and held the blanket to her chest. Ban sat down on th edge of her bed and wiped her face of the wetness. But her eyes welled up again as she reached out to hug him. He put his arms around her and laid down next to her. He asked what was wrong, and Himiko cried while she explained her dream. All her guilt, her doubts and questions and what-ifs... Ban simply listened, cringing when she spoke of Yamato.

When she finished, Ban stayed quiet, until Himiko said, smiling a bit, "He said I 'laid' with you."

Ban chuckled as Himiko put her head on his chest. He put his arms around her shoulders and said, "Do you still feel guilty?"

"I don't think so." she paused. "I guess it was just that I was scared of what Yamato would've thought. Dream or not, maybe he isn't angry with me."

"I think he's happy."

"Hmm?"

"Come on, babe." he rolled onto his side and put his arm over her stomach. "We both knew you were happiest when it was the three of us. Now that you and I have done the deed and entered the shitlessly frightening word of commitment-" she laughed. Ban smiled. "Well, now that we're together and its just us... its like you're smiling again." he touched her lips. "Not just here." he touched her forehead. "I mean here, and," he pressed his fingers against the area above her left breast. "Here, too."

Tears came to her eyes again as she hugged her boyfriend. Maybe Yamato was happy for her. Ban sounded so sure, she had to trust him. She just had to. What else could she do?

After a few quiet moments, Himiko turned her head and caught his mouth in a quick kiss. He pushed his lips back against hers, putting his hand on her neck.

It didn't take long for Ban to migrate to laying on top of her. It took an even shorter amount of time for HImiko to undo the button and zipper on his jean. Without many words, Ban found a condom in her nightstand drawer and put it on himself.

Sweating, Himiko kept her limbs tight around him. He held her lower back with his arm, and kept himsel fpropped up with the other one. Her back arched. She moaned his name repeatedly until his body spasmed, sending her to convulse with the rush of her climax.

After crying out once or twice, she came down from her high and began to pant along with Ban. A few seconds later, he pulled out of her and pulled off the condom. He threw it away, breathing ahrd. He rolled over and put his arms around her, pulling her into him.

He whispered in her ear, "Since you told me what was on your mind, I'll tell you a secret."

"What?"

"When you begged me to corrupt you," she glared, lightly pinching his arm. He grinned and said, "It, uhm... It was my first time,too."

Aghast, Himiko sat up and looked at him. She gasped, "What?"

"Yeah."

"But you seemed like you knew what you were doing." she laughed shortly. "How many virgins know the ten erogenous zones on a woman?"

"I've done my research."

He reached up and pulled her back down beside him .She laughed as he kissed her neck. She giggled a bit before quietly saying, "Hey."

"Yeah?"

"You know I love you, right?"

His answer was immediate: "Course I know that. Everyone loves me. I love me."

Himiko groaned, annoyed, and rolled away. Laughing, Ban pulled her back into him. He chuckled, "I'm joking- I'm kidding. I love you, too."

Himiko's stomach grew warm, and she felt like she was shaking despite her excitement. Maybe it was just that she was waiting for him to tell her that. Instead of saying anything, Himiko sat up, and said, "I'm all sweaty, so I'm gonna take a shower."

She picked up the towel draped over her closet door, and wrapped it around herself. She opened her bedroom door and looked back at him.

"Are you coming?"

Ban did a double take, and smirked. He jumped up and followed her into the bathroom.

Guess she didn't feel very guilty anymore.

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:D review! 3


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